Is my Arse the perfect height for kicking?

If there is a God why is my arse the perfect height for kicking?


A lyric from a song I heard recently (hopefully remembered correctly) and it got me thinking, is my arse the perfect height for kicking?

Firstly let us look at the statement literally, my arse is at the back of my hips placed at the top of my legs (not dropping yet thank goodness), if you are of an average height and the perpetrator of the kick is also of an average height and you view your leg as a lever and the hip as a pivot, then yes it must be said that your arse would be the perfect height for kicking but conversely it is also the perfect height to kick with, which perhaps take us into the Judea-Christian belief that freedom of choice to do evil or good is an intrinsic part of our makeup but I am certainly not going to travel down the religious route as it is a great way to piss off at least 50% of the population and I after all have to make a living from this website.

Now let us look more deeply into the philosophical make up of that statement, it seems to take a negative view of the bottom and as a man I must take umbrage at that, I am heterosexual and I find women’s bums lovely (why does that statement sound like something I would say at a meeting whilst I stand up encircled by other men seated on plastic chairs?) and I believe some women find some men’s bums lovely in fact I have it on good authority that the appreciation of the well-toned arse can cross sexual tropes with no bother at all.

 So maybe it is all about attitude, perhaps the negative attitude is a self-fulfilling prophesy, if you get up out of bed thinking that bad stuff will happen to you and it does, then it confirms and even reinforces your negative attitude and makes the getting out of bed harder and harder each day. Well I don’t happen to believe that, I believe bad things happen to all of us each and every day but that is not the important thing, the important thing is how you greet it, how you meet the bad stuff that comes into your life and how you deal with it, my favourite quote of all time is “nothing is ever good or bad but thinking makes it so” maybe we need to stop over analysing our lives and ourselves and just get on with living as Rocky says “ it aint how hard you can hit, its about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward”  from Hamlet to Rocky in one sentence where else are you going to get that.

 I am not saying, be one of the grinning fools who are so positive and happy all the time that you wonder what pills they are on, no, what I am saying is no matter what, there is always something positive you can focus on and if there isn’t something then I promise you there will be, because even a broken clock is right twice a day but try and make it easier on yourself after all if your Arse was any lower you would  look silly in yoga pants and if it was any higher people might expect you to live in Notre Dame and ring bells!!


If you enjoyed my waffle perhaps you might have a look at some of the coffees and teas I am selling on this website but if you don’t want to that’s cool too.


Bye for now




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